The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the argument given, the author recommends shortening of the working hours so as to reduced the number of on-the-job accidents. Alta Manufacturing recorded 30% more accidents than the competing Industry in the same manufacturing zone. This argument is made on various assumptions and few intimidating questions needs to be answered by the vice president of Alta Manufacturing to conclude on the validity of his recommendation. Without any valid evidence, we are not in a position to come to a conclusion.
Firstly, the Vice President claims that the nearby Panoply Industries has a shorter work shift hours and thus on-the-job accidents are quite low compared to Alta. This claim is highly contentious and without answering the Question “Is accident rate in Panoply Industries affected only and only due to the shorter hours of the work shift or are there any other influencing factors?” no conclusion can be made. There might be various other reasons for the lower rate of accidents, like safer work conditions, more awareness given to workers, Better facilities, etc. If any of these seem to be better than Alta, then it is quite evident that the only reason for lesser accidents is not shorter work hours or it might be possible that shorter working hours is not even one of the reason.
Further, the author claims that the significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused due to sleep deprivation. This cannot be concluded as a valid claim unless the question “Is the fatigue cased only due to the sleep deprivation or are there any other factors?”’ is answered. On evaluating such inputs, we can further jot information about the work culture in Alta manufacturing. In a general parlance, assumption could also be made that the fatigue is being caused due to strenuous work conditions, or the burdened work due to improper division among the labour, etc. If the answer to the above question is positive, then such assumption shall bolster the recommendation strongly.
Finally, the Author recommend shortening of work hours in each shift while assuming that this will help employees get adequate sleep. This assumption can be said to be made out of pure recondite if the Question “ Are you sure that the employees will sleep and not perform other errand during such period” is not answered. There is high possibility that the workers may opt to utilise this one hour to do other duties and not sleep. If this assumption is not backed by any evidence, then the recommendation made may not be valid and thus not effective.
Therefore, it is very important to answer these few questions before implementing such recommendation. Implementation without any evidence shall only reduce the revenue to the company but may not complement for better working conditions.
A through evaluation is required before taking any steps.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2326 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.97 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.816 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.912 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 78, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...ommends shortening of the working hours so as to reduced the number of on-the-job accide...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 283, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Is
...ation or are there any other factors?”’ is answered. On evaluating such inputs, we...
^^
Line 11, column 3, Rule ID: THROUGH_THOROUGH[1]
Message: Did you mean 'thorough' (accurate, exhaustive)?
Suggestion: thorough
...ment for better working conditions. A through evaluation is required before taking an...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, while, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 16.3942115768 152% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2405.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 469.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12793176972 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93881765752 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 204.123752495 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460554371002 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 751.5 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.1647113847 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.25 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.45 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220622676039 0.218282227539 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.075435294417 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100333074409 0.0701772020484 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10799281648 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113929611371 0.0628817314937 181% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.