Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
__________
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
One's intentions and the means by which one achieves one's objectives defines a person. The mentioned claim states that yougsters should select worthy goals based on the premise that their dreams are primarily selfish. However, I am of the opinion that there are no selfish dreams and differ with the author's claim which bifurcates goals into being worthy and unworthy.
Achieving one's goals is not a zero sum game, that is, one's gain can not be other person's loss. For instance, consider a musician who composes music and in the process is well compensated as well as achieves recognition for his work. However, his accumulation of wealth and his fame do not make his dreams unworthy because he intends to reach out to the masses through his melodious songs. Songs even have the power to heal people and are often used in pain therapy. Therefore, a musician is eventually helping a section of the society through his mellifluous songs.
Moreover, even a youth aspiring to be a portfolio manager at a firm is contributing positively to the society. One may belittle his goal by insinuating that he may be driven by the high salaried nature of the job but one may also argue that the high returns are a part of the high risk inherent in the job profile. A portfolio manager has a fiduciary relationship with his clients and helps them achieve the best possible targetted returns. Even a minor negligence at work may result in the loss of hard earned money of his investors and ultimately his job. The portfolio manager, by performing his duties ethically, is contributing towards the uplifting of the country's economy by assisting in strengthening the financial position of his investors.
The author should consider one's intentions and attitude in one's journey of achieving his goals. A portfolio manager who scams the investors by promising unfathomable high returns and runs away with the money makes people doubt the worthiness of one's dreams. His malignant intentions bring disgrace to the profession. Therefore, it would be wise to say that altruism is not associated with one's goals but with one's posture.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2024-11-03 | ekarumeblessing@icloud.com | 83 | view |
| 2023-10-18 | Adesina Boluwatito | 58 | view |
| 2023-10-03 | shamika@25 | 50 | view |
| 2023-10-03 | shamika@25 | 50 | view |
| 2023-09-17 | RIYA MODI | 50 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: One's
Ones intentions and the means by which one a...
^^^^
Line 1, column 53, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ons and the means by which one achieves ones objectives defines a person. The mentio...
^^^^
Line 2, column 11, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...o being worthy and unworthy. Achieving ones goals is not a zero sum game, that is, ...
^^^^
Line 2, column 55, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... goals is not a zero sum game, that is, ones gain can not be other persons loss. For...
^^^^
Line 2, column 82, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'persons'' or 'person's'?
Suggestion: persons'; person's
...me, that is, ones gain can not be other persons loss. For instance, consider a musician...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 28, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
... investors. The author should consider ones intentions and attitude in ones journey...
^^^^
Line 4, column 60, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...onsider ones intentions and attitude in ones journey of achieving his goals. A portf...
^^^^
Line 4, column 245, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ey makes people doubt the worthiness of ones dreams. His malignant intentions bring ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 389, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ay that altruism is not associated with ones goals but with ones posture.
^^^^
Line 4, column 409, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...not associated with ones goals but with ones posture.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, for instance, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 58.6224719101 72% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1758.0 2235.4752809 79% => OK
No of words: 355.0 442.535393258 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.95211267606 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34067318298 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73810351719 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 215.323595506 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.538028169014 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 552.6 704.065955056 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.10617977528 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.2370786517 84% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.4179348256 60.3974514979 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.411764706 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8823529412 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.29411764706 5.21951772744 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.127729376955 0.243740707755 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0485124247483 0.0831039109588 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0589713690728 0.0758088955206 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0962728943826 0.150359130593 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0756874700211 0.0667264976115 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.1392134831 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 100.480337079 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.