The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."
The editorial recommends that the endangered populations of arctic deer is blamed upon the animal’s inability to finish the migration across the frozen sea. The author reasons that due to the trend of the global warming resulting in the sea ice to melt. The phenomenon would thereby increase the declining rate of the deer populations. To support the argument the author points out the deer need to mover over ice from island to island and search for food,which is important for their survival. Citing the reports from local hunters,the argument indicates the decline in population of arctic deer is in accord with global warming and would therefore the effect of global warming to melt the frozen sea lead to the deer would not migrate for food as before. There are several reasons the argument for declining population caused by climate change is not convincing.
First and foremost, the author provides absolutely no evidence that the molten sea caused by global warming attributed is attributable in the decline in deer populations. The editorial overlooks the possibility that global warming had nothing to do with that population. Perhaps the number of deer herds would plummet due to the sudden rise in populations of their predator breaking the ecological balance. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the manager’s claim that the influence of global warming are to be credited for the decreasing population of deer. While common sense tells us such a relationship exists, the author must provide some evidence of this cause-and-effect relationship before I can accept the author's final conclusion that the hampered migration resulting from global warming would in fact increase the death rate of arctic deer.
Secondly, the accuracy of the reports from local hunters can be cast doubt on. The author provides no evidence that the reports’ results are statistically reliable. The editorial also provides no information about how the reports were conducted. Therefore, I can not be persuaded through the information shown in the reports from local hunters.
Thirdly,whether the scope of the influence of global warming would involve in the islands that arctic deer live is uncertain. Maybe the global warming trends have no effects on the specific region mentioned by the editorial. If the assumption could be proven,then it’s not possible to make a conclusion that global warming prevents the deer from migrating to other island searching from food,thus the populations would decrease.
In conclusion, the claim is not a persuasive one. In order to convince an analytical reader, the author needs to provide clear evidence that there is an obvious cause-and-effect relationship between the frozen sea molten by global warming and the decline in deer’s populations. Also, the author needs to provide more details such as surveying time and number of survey respondents in order to make sure the accuracy of the reports from local hunters. Finally, to better evaluate the effect of global warming the author needs to provide more information for the scope of the influence.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-09-01 | Vivi5428 | 58 | view |
| 2022-08-16 | doremon123 | 60 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 501 350
No. of Characters: 2557 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.731 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.104 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.684 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 206 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.09 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.545 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.343 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.547 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 255, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...rming resulting in the sea ice to melt. The phenomenon would thereby increase the d...
^^^
Line 1, column 456, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...rom island to island and search for food,which is important for their survival. Citing...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 533, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...l. Citing the reports from local hunters,the argument indicates the decline in popul...
^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , whether
...e reports from local hunters. Thirdly,whether the scope of the influence of global wa...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 259, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , then
...orial. If the assumption could be proven,then it’s not possible to make a conclusion ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 392, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , thus
...ting to other island searching from food,thus the populations would decrease. In ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 419, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing from food,thus the populations would decrease. In conclusion, the claim is...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, while, in conclusion, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2624.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 496.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29032258065 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71922212354 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8422929181 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433467741935 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 810.0 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.7439561067 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.272727273 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5454545455 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.40909090909 5.70786347227 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.219122470707 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0714872839835 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0759236260776 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135518948191 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0896168099353 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 114.0 98.500998004 116% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.