Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Traditionally, young people are chastened to seek long-term and realistic goals. However, the inexorable advances in technology entailed the change of people's view on the traditional values. Therefore, it is debatable whether to encourage young people to seek long-term, realistic goals rather then short-term goals such as immediate fame and recognition. Although long-term goals are sometimes important to succeeed, I believe that short-term objectives, especially fame and recognition, are important in general cases.
Granted, in a circumstance where young people seek the academic career path, long-term and realistic goals are important to excel. This is because, in general, it takes nearly more than ten-years to recieve a doctoral degree. In the course of this long year, there are a myriad of enticement toward seeking the immediate virtues such as the aforementioned ones. Therefore, in order to climb the ladder of success in the academic society, young people who are willing to enter the academic society should first be fully committed to seeking long-term values. This example reveals that young people in the academia should be fostered to follow long-term goals.
Regardless of the previous case, however, immediate fame and recognition are becoming more important in most circumstance. This is because, due to the unprecedented accessibility toward each other, the income that fame and regonition bring soared. Aside from the blatant example such as the average income of famous internet broadcasters and celebrities, even the circumstances of professors are also exemplifies this point of view. For example, the income of some well-known professors is incomparable to those of their colleages, due to the high amount of the opportunity to give a talk and participate in lucrative projects. Therefore, even in the academia, immediate fame and recognition is important in making a high revenue.
In addition, in most circumstances, immediate fame and recognition is lucrative, and this is highly imputed to the broadcast platforms such as Youtube. Whatever young people do is broadcastable, and if they have fame and recognition, it is highly probable that they can recieve more income through the donation from other people. This tendency is clearly revealed in the diversity of the contents of Youtubers. There are, for example, economy youtubers who earns more than a million dollars a year. In short, the immediate fame and recognition is important due to the presence of broadcast platforms and the profit they bring to peole through donation system.
In brief, although long-term values are important in certain limited circumstances, fame and recognition is more important since they can help young people to recieve a high salary. Therefore, people should abnegate the traditional values and must embrace the importance of immediate fame and recognition.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 295, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
Suggestion: than
... seek long-term, realistic goals rather then short-term goals such as immediate fame...
^^^^
Line 2, column 271, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'myriads'?
Suggestion: myriads
...e course of this long year, there are a myriad of enticement toward seeking the immedi...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, so, then, therefore, well, for example, in addition, in brief, in general, in short, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 33.0505617978 64% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2442.0 2235.4752809 109% => OK
No of words: 443.0 442.535393258 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.51241534989 5.05705443957 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58776254615 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04841885954 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 215.323595506 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.453724604966 0.4932671777 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 776.7 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.4089370529 60.3974514979 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.285714286 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0952380952 23.4991977007 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61904761905 5.21951772744 108% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258757717932 0.243740707755 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0899287435257 0.0831039109588 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0729477343407 0.0758088955206 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159012639226 0.150359130593 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0718868021063 0.0667264976115 108% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.1392134831 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 33.24 48.8420337079 68% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.1743820225 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 12.1639044944 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 100.480337079 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 62.5 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.