Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?

No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects for encouraging school-age children to get a better grade. If I were forced to choose, I would choose that this is a good encouragement behavior. Even though, some people think that this kind of behavior could spoil the children because they think that getting high grade is not their duty but In my firm belief this method of encouragement could asset really positive in future and I think so for two main reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.

To begin with, I think whenever we encourage our children for getting better and higher grade, we make them aware that there are going to be some consequences toward their performance. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. For instance, when I was 5 years old, I wanted to have a bike. My parents were aware of this inclination but instead buying bicycle so quickly, they told me that I have to get an "A" for my science exam and in that case they will buy it for me. I tried really hard to get that specific grade at that exam. I studied for almost 3 or 4 days. As a result of my endeavors, I got "A" and my parent bought me that bike. After this story I learned that I have to work hard to get award. For this reason I think it would be a really good idea to encourage children for getting better grade.

Secondly, in my opinion when we pay children as a result of their strives, we train them to be more productive and more beneficial and that could be extremely helpful the them in the future. For example, one time my friend john told me that the only reason that he is so successful now is how his parents treated him when he was little. He told me that once he was at elementary school, his parents specified some reward for all the good action that he did. He told me that he got reward every times he did a chores or got a great score in the exam or all sort of productive action that he did. Finally, now he is so productive and also so successful. He claim that if it was not for the treatment of his parents, he could not be a successful person who he is now. It is clear that why I believe that positive encouragement could be good action to make.

In light of above mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that offering children some money for each high grade they get in school could be really beneficial action and I think that could make them aware that there are some consequences for their every action and the fact that this method could work like a training to teach children how to be productive in their future lives.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 729, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “After” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...pos; and my parent bought me that bike. After this story I learned that I have to wor...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 168, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'them'?
Suggestion: the; them
...ial and that could be extremely helpful the them in the future. For example, one time my...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 508, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a chore' or simply 'chores'?
Suggestion: a chore; chores
...e that he got reward every times he did a chores or got a great score in the exam or all...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 656, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'He' must be used with a third-person verb: 'claims'.
Suggestion: claims
...o productive and also so successful. He claim that if it was not for the treatment of...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 316, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'teaching'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'train' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: teaching
... this method could work like a training to teach children how to be productive in their ...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, really, second, secondly, so, for example, for instance, i think, kind of, sort of, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 30.0 11.0286738351 272% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 107.0 43.0788530466 248% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 52.1666666667 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2187.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 498.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 4.39156626506 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50349749705 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 212.727598566 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425702811245 0.524837075471 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 690.3 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 85.7773134343 48.9658058833 175% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.35 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.45 5.45110844103 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.334433938524 0.236089414692 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.102813677481 0.076458572812 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0989799192522 0.0737576698707 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.245555076229 0.150856017488 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106639298224 0.0645574589148 165% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.48 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.01 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.