An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author promulgates that an international development organization has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A content, which would combat the vitamin A deficiency in the impoverished nation of Tagus, wherein many people are affected by this malady. I do not agree with this statement for the various reasons mentioned below.
With the advent of new genetic and bio-engineering technologies in genetics and biotechnology, man is able to manipulate the environment to a great extent and create new crops to suit his own requirements. Although these new fields have been in demand since the past few decades and have shown promising results in various studies, the confidence in the statement that this new variety of millet is definitely going to combat vitamin A deficiency is a matter of contention.
Firstly, there is no evidence as to how many people from the impoverished nation of Tagus are actually deficient in Vitamin A. A thorough study must be done to verify whether the number of people affected by this vitamin A deficiency is alarmingly large to take an immediate action.
The author mentions that the new strain of millet which has an apparently higher content of vitamin A is supposedly going to reduce the number of Vitamin A deficient cases. However, there is no evidence provided of any clinical trials on human study subjects which corroborates this statement. The real question lies whether the high content of genetically engineered Vitamin A is actually going to be absorbed by humans, the same way other sources of Vitamin A are absorbed. A complete clinical trial is required to be conducted on subjects to completely be confirmed on this matter. Another point to be considered is whether the individuals who are facing this deficiency are affected by some other disorder, which is indirectly hindering their vitamin A absorption.
The author highlights that the farmers will be paid subsidies to farm these costlier strain of millet. However, the question that sparks this statement is whether the farmers will be accepting this new variety of millet; as they have been using one particular type of millet. Some cultures are open to new accepting new advancements in biotechnology, however, in others its not. These farmers would find the older strain to be convenient in farming as they would know what to expect during the crop cycle and the harvest time, whereas this new variety might bring in newer never-experienced-before issues. Albeit, the farmers are given subsidies to buy this new variety, but a comparison must be made between these two varieties to check which is more economical in the long run. The additional precautionary measures taken during the farming of this crop variety is to be analyzed too.
In addition, in some countries people would not be accepting to new type of bio-engineered variety of millet, as they might assume this would cause some maladies. It would be an arduous task to convince people about the benefits of this new variety of millet. It is also difficult to convince people to use a substitute to millet, which has been a part of their diet since ages.
This newly engineering variety of millet crop has not shown any clear evidence of benefits in individuals for the government to propagate its usage. The government must first assign food and drug agencies to study this strain and only once efficacious results are obtained, they must be released in the public market. Otherwise without proper evidence, it would be a heinous crime to promote.
To summarize, the author states various benefits of this new variety of millet strain without any proper evidence on its vitamin A content, its efficacy, and also whether this new strain would be economical for the farmers in the long run. Hence, I would like the author to provide more supporting evidence to even consider this millet as a substitute to the original strain.
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| 2023-08-20 | Dinesh4518 | 63 | view |
| 2023-08-11 | Nowshin Tabassum | 69 | view |
| 2023-07-21 | Gnyana | 68 | view |
| 2023-07-20 | Prasad002 | 59 | view |
| 2023-07-08 | tanvik21 | 74 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 649 350
No. of Characters: 3204 1500
No. of Different Words: 274 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.047 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.937 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.837 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 244 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 179 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 118 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 74 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.042 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.019 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.604 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 284, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ngly large to take an immediate action. The author mentions that the new strain ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 167, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'case'?
Suggestion: case
...educe the number of Vitamin A deficient cases. However, there is no evidence provided...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 461, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
..., the same way other sources of Vitamin A are absorbed. A complete clinical trial is ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 371, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...ts in biotechnology, however, in others its not. These farmers would find the older...
^^^
Line 13, column 319, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Otherwise,
... must be released in the public market. Otherwise without proper evidence, it would be a ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, apparently, but, first, firstly, hence, however, if, so, whereas, as to, in addition, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 41.0 19.6327345309 209% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 97.0 55.5748502994 175% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3280.0 2260.96107784 145% => OK
No of words: 649.0 441.139720559 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05392912173 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04732388556 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89596831999 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 275.0 204.123752495 135% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423728813559 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1053.9 705.55239521 149% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.6428783717 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.2 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.96 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.76 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.449769000636 0.218282227539 206% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.137884485532 0.0743258471296 186% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.09630631942 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.234149232697 0.128457276422 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0877702524763 0.0628817314937 140% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.3 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 147.0 98.500998004 149% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 16.0 12.3882235529 129% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.9071856287 134% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.